Navigating the Unwritten Rules of the Workplace as a Minority

When I first entered the workforce, I tried to do everything "right"—even showing up in a tie every day for the first two years when no one else did.

For me, growing up, a tie symbolized professionalism, but what I didn’t realize at the time was that it made some of my colleagues uncomfortable. They didn’t get why I was dressed so formally when the unwritten dress code was more casual.

This made me realize that as a minority professional, some of the biggest challenges in any workplace aren’t the ones spelled out in the handbook.

Instead, they’re the unwritten rules—the social cues and norms that no one tells you about but that everyone else seems to know.

It made me appreciate that, like sports, the workplace has its own set of rules—ones that aren't always clear. Sometimes, you’re left reverse-engineering these rules, trying to understand how things work in your specific environment.

The most powerful tool you can use to understand these rules is your power of observation. Especially observing body language, communication styles, and the decision-making process.

1. Body Language:

Most of our communication is non-verbal. This might differ depending on your culture or background, so observe how your colleagues use their body language. Do they lean in when someone speaks? Do they cross their arms? Noticing these subtleties will help you understand how people interact and where you fit into the dynamic.

2. Communication Styles:

Listen closely to how your colleagues talk to each other. Are they more formal or informal? Do they prefer direct communication or a more roundabout way of expressing ideas? Understanding these nuances can be key, especially if you come from a different cultural background.

3. Decision-Making Processes:

Who speaks in meetings? Is there a clear hierarchy, or is it more of a flat structure? Observing how decisions are made will give you insight into how to navigate within the organization. You’ll learn how to present your ideas in a way that resonates and how to position yourself for success.

The more you pay attention to these dynamics, the better you’ll get at navigating them.

References:

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People, Joe Navarro.

What sets this book apart from others is how it focuses on using body language as the first step, which then still needs to be confirmed through questions or statements.