What name should you choose?
Why the Name You Present Matters
If you have a name that isn’t common in Western contexts, you’ve likely faced a moment where you’ve introduced yourself and noticed a pause. Maybe you said "Hi, I’m Khalil," only to be met with a confused stare. Suddenly, you feel the energy of the conversation drain as the other person struggles to understand or pronounce your name. It’s an awkward situation that many of us have faced, and it's important to explore how to navigate it.
The Case for Using a Western Name
Let's start with a real-life story. One of my favorite examples comes from Jahanzaib Ansari, the co-founder and CEO of Knockri, a Canadian tech company. Early in his career, Jahanzaib wasn’t receiving many callbacks after submitting his CV. Frustrated, he decided to test a theory: he changed his name from Jahanzaib to Jay or Jason. Suddenly, he got 8 times as many callbacks. This example shows the real-world impact of having a more Westernized name in a Western environment.
The Reality of Westernized Names
Even in the West, people don’t always use their full birth names. Christophers often go by Chris, Johannes by Jo, and Richards by Dick. The truth is, if you feel more comfortable with a nickname or a simplified version of your name, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important to choose a name—whether it’s your full name or a shortened version—that gives you power and joy when you hear it.
What If You Want to Keep Your Birth Name?
But what if you don’t want to change your name at all? What if you’re committed to using the name you were given? I’ve noticed that many professionals who choose to stick with their birth name often feel the need to soften the way they pronounce it. They might lower their voice or rush through it, as if apologizing for having a name that feels “different.”
Here’s my advice for confidently owning your name:
Flash a big smile and show that you're happy to meet the person.
Say your name clearly and loudly—no mumbling.
Say it slowly. Instead of rushing through your name, pronounce it carefully. For example: “Hi, my name is Khalil Guliwala. I’m so happy to meet you. Would you like me to repeat my name?”
This approach not only helps people understand your name better, but it also gives them an opportunity to ask for clarification. It’s respectful and ensures you’re both on the same page.
What If Someone Dismisses Your Name?
It happens: sometimes, people dismiss your name or refuse to make the effort to pronounce it correctly. You have options. One response is to assert yourself politely, saying,:
“Thank you for asking, but my name is Khalil Guliwala, and I’d prefer if you used that name.”
Another option, which I’ve used with great success, is to turn the situation into a teaching moment:
"I know my name isn't a Western one, and I love when people make an effort to pronounce it. It shows they're open-minded and respectful of other cultures."
You’ll often notice that by framing it this way, the other person will feel compelled to correct themselves and ask you to repeat your name. This not only helps them understand the importance of your name, but it also shows them that you value your cultural heritage.
Love Your Name, Own Your Identity
Ultimately, the key takeaway is to love your name and be proud of it. Your name is a powerful part of your identity, and how you present it can influence how others perceive you.
Whether you choose to use a Westernized version, your full name, or a nickname, always choose the name that makes you feel empowered. Own it, say it with pride, and let it reflect the strength and richness of your background.